笑话 (马来西亚版)

Osama生前曾经說：

大马是全球唯一絕對不能惹的國家！

原因是這樣的：

基地組織曾派出11名恐怖分子襲擊大马，結果如下：

1) 一人去炸KLCC時塞车塞了2小时，结果在车龙里爆炸了；

Terrorist decides to blow up KLCC. He drives to KLCC with the intention of planting the bomb there, gets stuck in a 2-hour jam, and blows himself up in frustration.

2) 一人在KL交通灯前因为horn了别的车辆一声，结果被路霸打到进医院去了；

3) 一人在怡保驾车因为跟着路牌走，结果去了Lumut；

Terrorist decides to bomb Ipoh as a practice session before targeting KL. He drives for the first time on the highway to Ipoh trusting the signboards to get him there, and ends up in Lumut. Terrorist drowns himself in the sea in frustration.

4) 一人去炸Bintang Walk；在路旁就被人拉了去找小姐，结果执法官员在当天的行动中把他逮捕了；

Terrorist decides to blow up Bukit Bintang. Upon arrival at destination, he is accosted by a pimp and spends the night in the arms of a beautiful woman. At dawn, authorities raid the place and arrest him.

5) 一人曾經嘗試在Puduraya放炸弹，結果还未走到Puduraya门口，就給摩哆匪搶了，人还被拖了100 m；

Terrorist decides to blow up Puduraya. While walking to his destination, the bag in which he keeps his bombs gets snatched by snatch thieves on a motorcycle. He pulls on his bag's strap desperately and dies after being dragged 100m on the road.

6) 一人剛到云顶高原半途中，被一辆巴士撞死了。司机是一名18岁，无牌驾驶的少年；

Terrorist decides to blow up Genting Highlands. On the way up the mountain, a speeding bus driven by a 18-year-old boy without a driving license crashes into his car and kills him instantly.

7)一人去了Serdang 炸医院，忽然听到一声巨响...医院倒塌了，结果那人也被压死了；

Terrorist decides to blow up Serdang Hospital. He enters the hospital lobby, hears a loud crashing sound and looks up to see the ceiling collapsing on him. He dies.

8)一人去偷了一架战机准备去撞KL Tower；他start了引擎很久都start不到，结果打开引擎盖一看....原来这战机没引擎的~；

9)一人去了Johor Bahru租房子， 在进行任务的前一天，家里进了賊，匪徒打枪和把他杀了；

Terrorist decides to bomb Johor Bahru. He rents a house as headquarters and the night before the dastardly deed, three men with knives break into his house, robs him and kills him.

10) 一人成功地在吧生港口炸港，死傷數百人，潛回基地組織後，半年都沒見任何到有关的新聞報導，遂被組織以"謊報戰果罪"報處決了（這個最可憐！）；

Terrorist decides to blow up Port Klang. He succeeds!! But the next day The Star, NST, Berita Harian and Utusan publish an article on page 10 headlined "Boy playing with fireworks injured in minor explosion.". Finally, he had been punished by the group for the mission failure.

最後，osama不得不說：記得！！大马是全球唯一絕對不能惹的國家